White River 50 Miler - It Wasn't About Me

Leaving Sun Top. To quit.

I regard signing up for an ultra race as purchasing a span of time in which to imagine I am on the same life path as others. We all head down the trail together. We spread out and go at our own paces, but our end goals are one and the same. If I could register for an entry into a life race to travel the same path as the majority of the population I might. But I can't, so I run these races instead.

I call the White River 50 miler my favorite race. It has strong competition sure, but there is something special about White River. 2018 was the 26th running of it. Scott McCoubrey and the Seattle Running Club put it on and it is a rarity for streamlined affordability among ultras at only $100 registration that even includes the shirt, pint glass, free camping at the start/finish, and a meal with a beer after. It was the second 50 miler I ever ran: I finished it in 2015, trimmed 42 minutes off my finish in 2016, had to rescind my entry in 2017 due to my tibial stress fracture, and after that two year absence thoroughly surprised myself in 2018 with a voluntary DNF that was in no way about me.

White River 2016. Photo Credit: Glenn Tachiyama.

I normally regard the ultra as the ultimate "me time." It is a break from life, from responsibility, from obligation, from the indoors, from putting others before oneself. To me the ultra is the best selfish treat. When I have time off from raising my son, by virtue of him having two households, or the ability to leave work early on a Friday I dig into these ultra treats like others dig into ice cream.

I registered many moons ago when it first opened and was looking forward to running White River after missing the 2017 race against my will. There were still spots available in the last weeks before the race this year though which lead to two unexpected twists. B Girl, my best friend, wanted to spend that weekend with me, but upon finding out it was my race weekend asked if there was a shorter distance available so she could run too. It is a purist 50 only so she decided to throw caution (or reason, however you wish to frame it) to the wind and sign up with the thought that if she spurred injury she could quit. I should preface that she's an amazing runner. Much faster and full of far more grit than I, but she just only first tried the 50k distance this spring and put in two strong finishes, but not without IT band pain. Before that she had never raced farther than a half marathon. Admittedly, it was a little soon to try a 50 miler. She was a mid-field collegiate soccer player though and, at least in my limited experience, those are the toughest athletes out there. We also had a crafty plan that if she just went my pace she'd be less likely to hurt herself.

Our friend, Ali, was supposed to be running the SOB (Siskiyou Out and Back) 50 Miler in Oregon the same day and had been experiencing FOMO about us and other Bellinghamsters all being at White River. SOB ended up being canceled due to forest fires and Ali was able to register for White River as an alternative just before registration closed. Now there were four. Marty, Ali's boyfriend and crew person extraordinaire, would travel down with her and we'd all camp together.

Shrimp piccata at the Alpine Inn at Crystal Mtn.

The night before the race we setup a simple camp and headed off for dinner at the Alpine Inn nearby. I broke my heavy dinner before a race rule and had the shrimp piccata over pasta, but it was really tasty. I normally do well to follow the heavy lunch and light dinner approach. The one and only flaw of the free camping at Ranger Creek State Airport aka the start/finish (yes, we sleep next to a rarely used landing strip) is that not all campers there come for the race. As such, we had the bad luck of ending up with a loud large group sitting up past 1:00 am next to us taking shots, playing music, and carrying on about what felt like the most asinine topics with our 4:30 am alarm clock pending. Ali and Marty were cozily sequestered in his SUV setup for car camping and didn't hear them, but B and I were in a tent and spent a few hours that would have been better spent sleeping plotting the demise of our inconsiderate camp neighbors. I always condition myself that night before a race sleep is a bonus and not to be counted on, but 3.5 hours kind of sucks.

Race morning came quickly and so did the starting time. We woke up tired and flew through a breakfast of Spark and granola with bananas and almond milk, picked up our bibs a hop skip and a jump away from the tent, suffered last minute outfit indecision (wait that was just me), and lobbed the loudest of firecrackers into the center of our inconsiderate neighbors' camp just past 5 am for reparations. Just kidding on that last part. I mean I wish I wasn't kidding, but I am. I found Kelly and Nichole at the start, but couldn't find Sabrina or Erin. A lot of awesome runner women started White River this year.

Ali had made a detailed pace chart in Excel for her goals and to facilitate Marty crewing her. She had three pace columns of fast, medium, and slow AF. I debated making it known that her slow AF column was only 8 minutes slower than my fastest WR50 on record. Ali may train my pace, but she also has a much faster race pace, which I encouraged her to keep up. B had debated running her own race, but was afraid of going out too fast on a distance her legs had never before carried her and crashing and burning. As such, I'd promised to stick with B. Ali wanted to stay with us too rather than run the race she was trained to do and capable of. We set off in this way and somewhere between miles 8 and 10 I got pretty grumpy about it.

Gazing back to the start/finish from the cliffs above.

The pressure of not running my race for me only was bothering me and my selfish set in. I had come into the race with a lot of heaviness on my mind in need of processing. I wanted my 50 miles alone in the woods to work through the weight of a recent breakup with the person I'd called my Alligator for longer than the four years I've been running ultras. I never ran an ultra without him before and I wanted to know that I still could. That his presence didn't define my running. I also felt a compelling need to dissect the ball of joy and fear in my mind around the catalyst that inspired me to finally exit what had long been an unhealthy relationship for me. I probably needed 100 miles alone in the woods, but I wanted my 50 and my selfish set in. I convinced Ali and B to just not wait for me if they got ahead up the trail. I had a lot of guilt about this because I'd promised I'd run it all with B. My promises were what got her registered to begin with. Ali is awesome to run with and would stick with B so I told myself to take B at face value when she said it was ok.

Just before our trio split off around mile 10. You can see back down to the airstrip that is the starting line from here.

I relaxed a bit after we all started running our own races. There was a relief in not worrying about my impact on anyone else's cadence. I also found myself completely over the race. I got lost in this fantasy idea of how ultras don't make any sense anyways and that I was burnt out. I had myself pretty well convinced that I should take a solid year off of ultras and just go on runventures and focus on the rest of my life (which is mostly just work, but it sounded good at the time).

Ali running through the scene of last summer's forest fire.

Coming into the Ranger Creek aid station at mile 11.5 I was surprised to find both Ali and B. B was already hurting and stretching to mitigate it. Ali was in good spirits. I encouraged them to both skedaddle, leave me to the plate of nutella and graham cracker sandwiches with coca cola, and not worry about seeing me again until the finish. Between Ranger Creek aid and Corral Pass aid at mile 16.7 I passed Kelly looking strong on the out and back section. She told me I wasn't far from aid. It was really really hot in full sun there and another round of watermelon and cold coke sounded truly good. A woman I was leap frogging with off and on mentioned experiencing queasiness from the heat on all the uphills. I felt grateful to not be experiencing the same. 

B on Blister Recon.

A few miles out from my return to Ranger Creek aid at mile 22.1 I finally started feeling good again and running. I started passing all the people I saw (not many, 5ish). It seemed everyone near me on the course was feeling wiped out from the nearly 90 degree weather and pulsing sunshine. I was just excited that a good portion of the switchbacks were pointing downward at last. I felt great as I looped down the last bit of trail into aid. Things were finally good. Except not for everyone. I was surprised to find B and Ali at mile 22.1. I hadn't thought I'd see them again until it was over. B has a super talent for getting blisters. She can get one on a 6 mile run. She was doing her best to tape and bandage the ones she'd accumulated and put out the hot spots waiting to add to the trouble. Both her and Ali were starting to chafe. I grabbed water, talked briefly with them, and continued on to the fun downhill switchbacks that drop Ranger Creek aid to Buck Creek aid aka the start/finish line at mile 27.2. After a short bit of solo running I heard Ali and B on the switchbacks above me and they caught up shortly after. We split off and on for a bit, but eventually just a mile or two out from Buck Creek B began to slow from IT band pain and frustration at not wanting to quit. Ali was just a bit ahead at this point, excited to see Marty after missing him at the first aid station at mile 3.7. I tried to talk B into dropping at Buck Creek so near our tent. It was the original 'out' for her when we had planned the race - to drop when the course passed back through the start / finish line. She wanted nothing to do with it. She was really mad about the idea of quitting. Angry tears mad. It was somewhere around there that I decided however this race was going to end for her I'd end it with her. I knew her big uber competitive spirit was really upset right then about the idea that of all her friends there running she was the one whose body wasn't up for that many miles. It didn't matter that there were good reasons for that so I quit trying to reason with her. I just told her I'd made a choice and not to bother arguing. If she quit I'd quit with her, at any mile. If she finished I'd finish with her. I wasn't going to leave her again. It's not really something I can explain, but of all the people in my life B is the one who I find myself inherently incapable of choosing to disappoint. 

Buck Creek Mile 27.2. Photo by Marty.

We arrived at the Buck Creek aid and found Ali and Marty. Ali was trying to fight off thigh chafe with her go to anti-chafe product, but the humidity was wreaking havoc and nothing was working. Marty was happy to see all of us, in good spirits, and B & I thought he had crewing experience based on his pro sunscreen spraying skills. Nope, just a natural. I tried to gently see if B wanted to drop and said I would join her, but she firmly did not. I said well let's try for the White River 50k then because the next aid was mile 31.7 Fawn Ridge. She agreed and was excited to start climbing again because it felt better on her IT bands. Having finished White River twice previously I was quite familiar with the second of "only two hills on the course," as Scott McCoubrey likes to say, and not that excited to climb it in the hot sun. Handily, I was able to stuff my sports bra full of ice cubes at Buck Creek. That helped briefly until they all melted. The race manual is a great one and my favorite line in it is about this section,"After a nice flat 2 mile cruise through the woods, and a lap around the airstrip, you will start climbing up the Sun Top trail. Don't worry, it's the last hill on the course and it will only last 8.5 miles." Yep, that's a good summary of what happens. I don't think B had read that. She was looking forward to it. 

My watch was at 22% despite the big promises Suunto makes about a 15 hour battery life in the setting I was using. That's ok though. I'd come prepared with my new Anker charge on the go system. We walked a lot between Buck Creek and Fawn Ridge which made charging easy. If you need to extend your battery life without pausing your watch I strongly recommend the Anker. 

Ali was up ahead at this point while B and I leap frogged with a young guy who was just miserable. It was his first 50 and he'd heard good things about White River, but the heat was french frying him. He was using a big wood walking stick and when we eventually saw him finish later he still had it with him. At one point when I ran B told me I was going too fast and to slow down. That's how I knew she was about done. She's the fast one, never me. Her calling me that is like a hare calling a tortoise that. I slowed, but told her we'd do little run intervals and walk in between. I told her, and our new friend with the stick, to expect tropical fish soon.

 

The fish always signal Fawn Ridge aid just before it appears. It's a fun aid station, luau themed. We found Ali there dealing with really bad thigh chafe. B asked me to check her back to see why it hurt and sure enough she also had two big patches of raw chafed skin there. I personally was just excited to change into my regular socks because I was so over my compression sleeve socks from the heat. I was also pretty excited to stuff more ice in my bra because it was just that hot out. Nichole's husband, Eric, was volunteering at Fawn Ridge and building everyone up. I was glad to hear Nichole's race was going well. We told Ali to not wait for us again. I had accepted at that point that it was unlikely we would finish and I didn't want Ali to lose her finish with us after already throwing away her pace chart. I had a small hope that we could carry on past Sun Top and reach Skookum Flats, but it was quite small. It was the underdog thought though and everyone always roots for the underdog's success.

Bra ice - so refreshing when it hits 90 degrees.

That's her done face. Photo credit: Glenn Tachiyama Sun Top AS.

We were going very slowly as we left Fawn Ridge. The climb to Sun Top is hard if you feel good and B didn't. I was watching our ability to make the cutoff time slip away, but was semi grateful knowing that if we didn't it would make our decision for us. A few miles before the top the Sun Top trail crosses the road. I had told B about the road. It's hard packed dirt, steep and unforgiving. It's a twin to Cleator Rd. back home and it drops 6.4 miles from Sun Top aid to Skookum  Flats aid at mile 43.4. It's pretty much the worst possible thing you could run on if your IT bands are messed up. We crossed the road. I told her that was what we would run down and she was over it right then in that moment. We would drop at Sun Top aid mile 37. I pointed out that no matter what we would complete all the climbing (about 10k of elevation gain) and we were going to get to the top of the second hill. She mainly just wanted coke. That craving was the main thing driving her to the aid station. I knew we'd see Glenn on the last switchback taking race photos. I told B she should move to the front. I told Glenn it was my first drop photo of his and then called out to the aid station volunteers to confirm we were a few minutes past the 4:53 pm cutoff. Except they said yes, but to hurry and they'd let us through. Shit. There went the easy drop. I told B whichever answer was her right answer I'd stay with her. Then the volunteer said they'd be driving down the road shortly and could always scoop us up if needed. B thought it'd be nice to round up to an even 40 miles for her longest run ever. So we walked away together. Every step was hurting her at that point. My legs felt fine and I love downhill and I crave making up pace on it after slow climbs. I struggled with it on that walk knowing I could get her safely to a volunteer and run to the finish. I am not a person who knows how to quit. The funny thing about that though is she is who I could not quit that day. I could quit on me and I could quit the race, but I was incapable of leaving her. 

After my watch hit 40.1 miles we found a spot to sit on the side of the road and waited on cars. When a maroon Subaru came around the corner I flagged it down and explained us to them. We hit the jackpot on the ride lottery. Jennifer and April are both Search and Rescue volunteers and complete badasses in general. They rearranged the fully loaded car and we sat on the still folded backseat touching the ceiling. They told us so many awesome stories of their adventures and we shared ours and I cannot remember any of the details now, but they perked B's spirits right back up and it was perfect. Partway down the mountain we saw Ali limp walking and pulled up to check on her. She definitely did not want to join us in the car, but we told her we would see her at the finish. As we passed Skookum Flats we pulled up and told Marty where she was and that she had a knee issue. We were worried, but hopeful that she would make the Skookum Flats cutoff at mile 43.4. She did and finished strong. It was good to see her finish and Sabrina and Nichole too. Kelly had finished much earlier and looked great. It was an uncomfortable feeling to not finish the race. It is still bothering me that I quit when I was fine, but if you threw me back there right now I'd quit with her again. Ultras usually surprise me in terms of ability to finish hard things. This year White River surprised me with a new ability - to recognize finishing was not the most valuable thing that day. White River will be there next year and I'll register for the 5th time. It is, after-all, my favorite race. B might run it again too, but her own race. She says she would train next time :) 

40 miles is still 40 miles and a great excuse to eat eggs benny the morning after the run.

The Wy'East Wonder 50 Miler

The Wy'East Wonder 50 miler is a brand new point to point race staged out of Parkdale, Oregon. It also offers a 50k distance and is orchestrated by GoBeyond Racing. Due to various injuries I hadn't raced a 50 miler since summer 2016 so I was very excited to take part in the inaugural Wy'East Wonder.

We arrived at the Red Barn Park at 4:30 am to check in. GoBeyond Racing has some pretty stellar bib numbers. They feature a landscape photo, the race logo, and your first name. They also featured chip timing which is uncommon in trail races.The shuttles (aka school buses) were supposed to depart with us at 5:15 am, but were running behind. As it turned out one of the three buses broke down so John ended up really glad I'd hauled him over to get in line early as in the end a bunch of runners had to stand in the aisles to all fit. There was a married couple in the seat in front of us who kept cuddle napping on each other. I thought they were pretty cute so when I ended up running with them early on in the race I told them so. It turned out they have four kids. Four kids and still finding time to get out and run 50 miles together. I think that's pretty dang romantic.

Sardines on the school bus :)

It was a novelty - the buses climbing elevation up the mountain roads instead of our legs. We arrived 5 minutes past the planned start time and it was announced that we would be given 15 minutes. The race would start at 6:20 am instead of 6:00 am. Myself and some other slow folks were concerned and asked if the two aid station cutoffs would be adjusted Thankfully the race directors said yes they would get word to the volunteers. Nichole and Eric are a couple I met in Winthrop last year after the Cutthroat Classic. I knew this was Nichole's FIRST 50 MILER and I was pretty excited for her. Eric would be running the 50k starting two hours later. Nichole and I have similar paces so we ended up running the first 3 miles together climbing a logging road at a gentle grade. At a point where we were briefly hiking the race photographer popped up. Race photographers have a knack for catching me walking. We startled into a run pose. He said don't worry I'll see you again at mile 27.5, but we never saw him again, nor did my faster friends also racing. At the time I didn't understand why he was photographing us on the logging road. A few teaser photos have been released since and I laughed hard realizing we were simply facing the wrong direction and that Mt. Hood was hovering over us, a stoic foggy mountain beauty photo bombing us.

A view of Wy'East (Mt. Hood) at about 5,800 ft. on Gunsight Ridge.

Between the first and second aid stations I began leap frogging with a group of 10 or so runners who I'd see again off and on through the remainder of the race. One of the prettiest views of the day was just off the trail at mile 6.5 or so, the gunsight view of Mt. Hood, for which the ridge we ran along was named. In this section I got to chat with another Runner of the Wild who had come all the way from Boston for the race. After a bit I let her go as I noticed the altitude getting to me and my pace slowing. The majority of the first 15 miles was at 5,500 - 6,000 feet. I'm usually not affected below 7,000 feet, but it is early season and I haven't been in the mountains much yet this year. When altitude affects me it generally makes me feel a bit loopy, inebriated even. I also have a harder time feeling like I am getting enough air and my fingers swell. These factors and the baseline stress in my mind about the mile 20.5 and mile 40.1 cutoffs made for a strange mental combo as I ran along the ridge. My inability to process basic math is how I first realized the altitude had gotten to me. I was 7.4 miles in and just under 1 hour and 40 minutes had elapsed. I started freaking out that the average pace on my watch was in error at 13:21 average per mile thus far because 8 miles in two hours is 15:00 average and 7.4 miles was less and thus slower than cutoff pace. My "math" was completely backwards my watch was just fine, I just wasn't, ha. It took me 10 minutes to determine that. Perhaps only 3.5 hours of sleep the night before did not help either!

Coming into the High Prairie aid station  there had been some light mist, but I had the luck to have ducked under the structure just prior to a major downpour that soaked everyone not under cover. I opted to stay a little longer than planned to avoid getting soaked so early on. It was here that my obsession with Frito's corn chips began and lasted throughout the race. I haven't seen them as aid station fare before, but they absolutely hit the spot. In fact, I want some right now. I also ate PB&J sandwiches, pickles, oranges, bananas, and watermelon and drank Coke from the aid stations to supplement my Skratch Labs Raspberry energy chews and Muir Energy molasses based gels.

The Aquaduct aid station was almost 10 miles away, but the journey there began with a fun downhill that lifted my spirits. I knew I needed to push and keep my pace up to make the 11:20 am cutoff at mile 20.5. The Auquaduct aid station is the start and finish of the 20 mile loop that differentiates the 50 mile course with a lollipop middle. Meanwhile, the 50k simply borrows the first 20.5 miles on Gunsight Ridge and the last 10 or so on Surveyor's Ridge from the 50 mile course. I was excited to get to my drop bag at Auquaduct and restock on my Skratch Labs chews. I came in, refilled my water, ate some real food (Frito's and fruit), burrowed in my drop bag and departed 11 minutes prior to the cutoff. Aquaduct felt ominous to me because it boasts a tight 10 hour mile 40.1 cutoff as well.

Clearing the mile 20.5 cutoff with just 11 min. to spare.

The course description had promised a trail called the Super Duper Connector after leaving Aquaduct aid. This trail was fun and it reminded me very much of Mole Trap and Lost Giants on Galbraith Mountain at home. Please don't tell anyone I said this, but the Super Duper Connector would have been way more fun on a mountain bike. Fun fact, the majority of Wy'East was run on mountain bike trails and Wy'East was the first running race to grace them.

Next up was the Bottle Prairie aid station at mile 24.8, aka almost halfway, in a little woodsy area in the middle of nowhere. The volunteers working it just seemed incredibly extra kind and encouraging. They also had a really well stocked table of food. Big bowls of watermelon, oranges, bananas, quartered PB&Js, pickles, candy, Ruffles, bottles of Coke and Ginger Ale, and my precious Frito's. I'm so used to aid stations down to slim pickings because I am a back of the mid pack runner so this felt rather luxurious. From here I headed out on a 6.4 mile loop on the Eightmile Trail that would return me to these lovely volunteers once more. This section was beautiful and took us on many switchbacks with mountain views eventually returning along the creek.  As mile 27.5 came and went I wondered where the race photographer was and got grumpy briefly over the thought that he had probably already left because I'm a slowpoke. Later, talking to John, who finished an hour and 43 minutes faster than me, I found he never saw him past mile 3 either.

I came back in to the Bottle Prairie aid and was in a really interesting mental state. The course mileage was 31.2 miles at this point. One would think a truly easy mindset to fall into would go like this, " I just ran an entire 50k and you're saying I have to keep running? 19 more miles?! 2/3 as much as I just got done with? Seriously? No thank you." Except my mind did not go there at all. I never even really thought about 50 miles. The only thing that really mattered at all all day, other than frequent access to Frito's, was the mile 40.1 mark and it's ominous 10 hour cutoff at 4:20 pm. All that was in my mind at that point was that I had 2 hours to get through those 9 miles or my race was over. I left the aid station strong, determined, and fearful.

Strong and determined didn't last that long. Fearful really took over and brought sad along for the ride. I was upset because I was on track for my usual 50 miler pace of 12.5-13 hours, but the cutoff said my pace could very easily be inadequate. In the end there were 26 DNFs. I don't know how many were voluntary and how many were caused by the cutoff that I was fearing. Cell signal cut in and out often on the course, but I sent texts about my fear to three of my close friends I run most with: Ali, Heather, and Bethany. Ali and Heather texted me back strong encouragement that picked me up and Bethany was out running and chose to run longer to be with me from afar and sent me a video building me up in her own special way. I train with my tribe and even though they are not there I race with my tribe too. I love these ladies a lot (and hope Ali and Heather don't mind the screenshot.)

My tribe <3

The route back to Aquaduct was similar to earlier in the day, traversing the Knebel Springs Trail back to the Super Duper Connector. I crashed on energy and walked more than I meant to and thunder came and went with light rain showers and gloomy skies as I impatiently hoped to be on the Super Duper Connector miles before I reached it. For me the Super Duper Connector was the trigger that the aid station was at last near. My watch ran long, showing over 42 miles before the mile 40.1 aid station. Between that and my loopy altitude mind and tired body I had no sense of when I would make it back until I hit that trail sign. Once on the Super Duper Connector I passed two runners. One man was walking with his poles, said his legs were shot, and that he had given up. I said some encouraging words about you never know, maybe you will get it back and then added on about winning lotto tickets for us both as long as we are wishing. That last bit was the altitude loopiness talking. A half mile or so later I saw a woman running up ahead in a way that illustrated my own feelings. She would run then walk brief intervals as if they were truly all she had to give in that moment. I passed her and offered encouraging words of hope that we could both make the cutoff despite my growing fear that my own chances were shot. There was about a mile left, but it felt like more.

As I descended the last bits of trail that would drop me into Aquaduct aid my watch clicked over to 4:20, 4:21, 4:22 pm. I was officially past the cutoff. I had been pushing with all I had at that point with the knowledge that not doing so would end my race and giving it everything could possibly save my race. My mind did a funny thing. It kept saying to me, "it's in God's hands now" on repeat. I'm spiritual, not religious, and prone towards making references to the universe, not to God, so those words were quite out of character for me. They comforted me though and in the back of my mind I reassured myself that if forced to quit at least I'd eliminate the very very faint possibility of getting zapped by lightning associated with the thunderstorms. I came running down the road where all the volunteer's vehicles were parked. A child sitting in a truck with the door cracked told me "you're doing great" like they meant it. I felt like a sham, but made a choice to be positive and come in strong because in my mind my race was ending then so this was the only finish line I'd have. That's when the Wy'East Wolf Pack spotted me. I love this group. Their energy and good spirits are palpable and will pick you up if you are down. They worked an aid station at the Oregon Coast 30k last fall where I wasn't struggling at all, but they raised my spirits that day too.

I wish I knew the name of the Wolf Pack guy who first spotted me. As soon as he did he turned to the other runners and declared, "we have the last runner!" This perplexed me very much. In most races the cutoff is stringent and in some races the volunteers have some discretion. I had planned to respectfully make my case that I didn't need water, I could just be on my way with a handful of food, and that I felt good and on track for my target time of 12.5-13 hours, but he didn't give me a chance. He just took one look at me at 4:23 pm 3 minutes over the line and declared me the last runner. I must have been staring at him like a deer in headlights because when he addressed me directly he simply asked me, "are you good?" Yes! Yes, thank you so much I said and shook his hand and began spouting off about that I didn't need water. Another Wy'East guy shepherded me to the food table to load up a few handfuls to go. That's where I spotted the single croissant and asked if I could have it. They gave it right to me and a kind woman appeared and started handing me Swiss cheese slices from a bag. I took a few banana chunks and grabbed one vanilla Gu as a just in case. Just before leaving I asked the second Wolf Pack guy, noting that it was silly, but could I take a quick picture of them. He declared it was a selfie occasion and leaned in. If I ever move to Portland, Oregon I'll be joining the Wolf Pack. They're a wonderful crew on the pulse of what makes the ultra community tick. Those guys made my day by recognizing so fully that 3 minutes was not material to 10 hours and I'll never forget that moment.

Wolf Pack Happiness at Auquaduct.

Mmm croissants & Swiss cheese. Thanks guys! :)

Once I left Auquaduct I felt an immense weight lifted off of me. The intensity of cutoff pressure throughout the first 40 miles had prevented me from running my own race freely and suddenly there was nothing in the world that could stop me from running 50 miles. I felt so free and light of heart. I passed 2 people between that point and the Gibson Prairie aid station at mile 44.8. At this point we were on Surveyor's Ridge which is supposed to have great mountain views, but it was pretty foggy. I did not care one iota. I thought it was refreshing and felt unstoppable and free. Arriving at Gibson Prairie I was once again truly impressed by the volunteers. They were attentive and kind and had lots of snacks laid out in full bowls. That was well above what I am used to at the back of the pack and I was one of the last 3 runners they would see that day. I stayed only long enough to thank them and take a PB&J with me.

Foggy views from Surveyor's Ridge.

Lush greenery in the last 5 miles.

It was time to go to the finish line. The flowers and lush greenery were beautiful over the next 3 miles and I both ran and walked as I felt able to. Then I reached the sign for the Oak Ridge Trail and got EXCITED. Why? I'd been waiting all day for this section because it was promised to drop nearly 2,000 feet of elevation in less than 2.5 miles. Have I mentioned that I AM A DOWNHILL RUNNER AND THAT IS THE TERRAIN I LOVE? :) No, well consider it mentioned. This part was awesome. It was rocky switchbacks with bits of shale thrown about and the trees reminded me so much of where my family lives in Northern Cali.

Capturing the steepness of the last 2.5 miles.

Almost done.

I got excitable in this section and passed 3 more runners, only 2 of whom I count. The third was a dear friend of mine who had an injury flare up less than 10 miles into the race, but stubbornly and with a bold heart refused to quit even when she was reduced to only walking downhill from heavy pain. I was so shocked to find her and hug her 2 miles from the finish as she'd normally finish a race like this 3 hours faster than me. A quarter mile or so from the finish I was running with a woman I'd leap frogged with much of the day and I wanted to really fly. I told her I'd ask to pass, but it seemed unfair to do so so close to the finish. She disagreed and said to go for it so I did and flew in at my best fun downhill pace. When I bounded in through the timing gate there was John patiently waiting since his own finish an hour and 43 minutes prior. He was a tad purple and slightly shivering as he'd stubbornly avoided the shuttle back to the start for warm clothes in favor of waiting and not wanting to miss my finish. We were both really happy right then. Back at the start line they still had pulled pork, burgers, potato salad, and beer waiting. We found Nichole and Eric. She had come in about 20 minutes ahead of me and I was so happy to hear she finished her first 50 miler strong.

I am not sure if I will run this race again next year or not. I will absolutely recommend it to my friends who are faster than me. The race has a beautiful fun course, great swag, fantastic volunteers, and fun extras like chip timing that boasts finish line videos. For those my pace or slower I hesitate. Cutoff pressure really stressed me out for the first 10 hours of my 12 hour 43 minute 40 second day and that's not what I run for. I run 50 miles to unwind and relax, not to turn into a big stress ball. As it was the inaugural year I would suggest the race directors loosen the cutoffs slightly, but I recognize that their business model is one of tighter cutoffs. My one and only DNF is one of their races as well (the Mountain Lakes 100 miler with a 30 hour cutoff). Tighter cutoffs keep permits on track, get volunteers home sooner, and are economically viable because there are enough fast ultra runners to sell out races such as this without a need to target market the slower runners like me. If you run 50ks in 6.5 hours or less and want to try a 50 miler do this one. If you run 50 milers in 11.5 hours or less do it. You will love it. If you are slower consider any of the Destination Trail races. They are built for runners of all paces to enjoy the cathartic scenery without cutoff stress negating their trail joy. If you want precisely 50 miles run the White River 50 miler. I'm going to run it for the 3rd time next month and while it has cutoffs at the last 4 aid stations and the finish line (14 hours) they are not at all stressful for my pace zone despite the race having more elevation gain. If you are fast, run Wy'East. If you are slow and daring run it, just hope that the Wolf Pack will find you and have your back :)

Sun Mountain Magical ( 50k #9)

Photo Credit: Glenn Tachiyama.

If you follow my blog you know I'm obsessed with Patterson Mountain in Winthrop, Washington. One of my favorite races in the PNW, Sun Mountain, takes place climbing up and down Patterson and looping many gentler trails around it. I've raced Sun Mountain previously (25k - 2014, 50 Miler - 2015, and 100k - 2016). Saturday was my first stab at the 50k, which is now the longest distance available.

Having run and loved this race in prior years I promoted it heavily to friends. I had talked Bethany into registering for it with the intent of it being her first 50k. She got excited about that goal though and ended up running the Chuckanut 50k first in March. Similarly, I had talked it up to Ali. She was able to buy a bib last minute. A big group from Bellingham came over to race and it was great to have so many friends there. Bethany was my roomie and Ali ended up sticking with me for the entire race.

I went to Winthrop for a solo day trip the prior weekend for Mother's Day. The pass had just opened and I was excited to get one run in on the course before race day. It was 86 degrees in full sun and I just about melted. I set my sights low for the race thinking I wouldn't be heat acclimated at all. By race day the weather reports changed drastically. We were in for rain with highs in the low 60s.The rain fell hard all night on the eve of the race. Our cabin was next to the river so between its nearly overflowing banks and the pounding rain we slept to nature's live version of those white noise machines owned by people like me seeking peaceful sleep in apartment life.

We stayed up too late, midnight or so, with 5:30 am alarm clocks for the morning. We had an important mission: sharpie tattoos. Bethany is the artist between the two of us and had a bacon heart designed for me. She signed it B12, one of my nicknames for her (just being around her will give you a shot of energy much like B12 injections claim to do). She also wrote run faster on it because she thinks all I need to finally meet my sub 7 hour 50k goal is some convincing. I suffer from an artistic talent deficit so I sharpie sketched a slightly lopsided heart with a pickle and a bacon slice in it on her arm and wrote run fasterer on it. Why the fake word? Well she's already damn fast and we get in enough grammatically correct communication during the work week.

#BaconHeart

Morning came too quickly and we were at the race start before we knew it. Sun Mountain always used to start and finish at the Chickadee Trailhead, but James revised the course to start and finish at the Patterson Lake Cabins this year. The perk of this was fewer mosquitoes and the beauty of the lake. The it place at any race start is the porta potty line so off we went...and promptly saw a large brown bear trying to get into the adjacent dumpster. It was ignoring us completely, including James when he went up close and yelled at it to get out of there. A few people, whose line of sight did not include the bear, thought he was yelling at someone to get out of a porta potty so we had a good laugh at that. I just kept thinking about the dozens of times I'd run right there by myself without my mind on bears. Rattlesnakes are what I'm used to watching out for there.

Why Hello There, Bear.

While I technically never ran the 50k at Sun Mountain before I sort of ran it twice in 2016 because the 100k was simply 2x the 50k loop. Back then the Patterson Climb was late in the race. The revised course sent us straight up Patterson after maybe a third of a mile on the road. Unfortunately, the road section was too short to thin out 300 of us so we came to a full stop waiting in line to begin the single track climb. I almost paused my watch before remembering it was a race and not a training run. Going up as we did didn't allow running. On one hand I felt stressed to lose time so early by being forced to hike rather than run/hike interval the climb. On the other hand I liked the no pressure atmosphere of not being able to run it and reminded myself that the climb was not quite 2 miles of 31 and it would even out.

Climbing Patterson single file.

Ali and I were sticking with our friend Tim in this section and had fun on the way up. The loop turns off to an out and back summit where we got to see Bethany, Cam, Kelly, and Nichole fly down.

The one out and back section - so we got to

see speedy B :)

After completing the summit we descended the opposite side of the loop to a trail appropriately called Black Bear that would take us to one more big climb on a trail called Moose up the backside of the Sun Mountain Lodge where we would find aid station one at mile 7.2. I didn't tell Ali, mostly because I knew she'd offer me her water and I didn't want to waylay us, but about 2 miles before the aid station I felt it was a mistake to have gone handheld only and no pack. I was thirsty, however, this was the only section of the course I'd predicted would be a problem. Every other section was shorter with less climbing. I drank a full bottle of water and coke and refilled before leaving aid and it wasn't an issue thereafter.

A few miles past aid one we entered the buggy section. I felt like I was getting bit constantly. Ali kept hitting me to help chase off the mosquitos, but they were relentless. During this section Ali's stomach was bothering her and we thought it was the ginger ale from the aid station. Cupless races are a great trend, but both sodas we drank were super bubbly since they hadn't been sitting around in Dixie cups getting flat. Getting in to aid two around mile 13.2 we spied a man with green can of OFF mosquito repellent. We sprayed each other quite enthusiastically, but having trouble breathing for a moment in the chemical cloud was completely worthwhile. Post race my mosquito bite count was 25, 15 grouped on my back and another 10 on arms and legs. It would have been worse if not for the man with the OFF.

Stopping to smell the flowers, both figuratively and literally.

Photo Credit: Glenn Tachiyama.

Photo by Ali :)

After leaving this aid station I began trying more fervently to talk Ali into abandoning me, but she kept refusing. She had a crafty way of turning it back around as if it was likelier I'd leave her. I have a complex about slowing other people down. Ali and I train at basically the same pace, but unlike me she also has a race pace. I have no race pace. Sometimes my training pace works out to be faster than my race pace. That's not how it is supposed to work. I set a time goal, then partway into a race I realize I'd rather not push and feel like crap so I lollygag through the woods and accept whatever time shakes out. Then I complain later that I was unable to meet my initial time goal. I've finally gotten a bit wiser with this and admitted unable is not it. I am unwilling to meet my time goals because I prefer to be social, stop and smell the flowers, take photos, and have fun. That said I still have a lofty goal at the start of every 50k. This one was my 9th 50k and I have not cracked 7 hours ever.

The goal is sort of arbitrary and sort of a key performance indicator tied to my ability to run the distance I most want to finish. My one DNF, the Mountain Lakes 100 miler in 2015, where I was pulled from the course at mile 82 sorta injured, but mostly slow as mud 27 hours and 46 minutes into the 30 hour cutoff, led me to formulate my 7 hour rule. The 100 mile distance has a strong law of diminishing returns. You can't just take your 50k time and multiply it by 3.3 to predict your 100 mile finish. You will slow down. A lot. You can't double your 50 miler time either. If that was the math I could run a 25 hour 100 miler and I assure you that will never happen. All this math play leads to my rule. I'm not allowed to attempt a 100 miler again until I first run a sub 7 hour 50k.

I didn't get into that level of detail with Ali about my target. I just mentioned that I'd buy dinner from East 20 Pizza that evening if she could force me err I mean pace me to a sub 7 hour finish. She had come to run for fun, not race, because she is tackling the Rim to Rim to Rim run across the Grand Canyon and back this weekend which is close to 50 miles and in an extreme climate. A 7 hour 50k isn't race pace for Ali though so she was all in to help me. Rather than get into the details between mile 13 and mile 31 I'd rather defer to Ali who made me laugh so hard with a few tears mixed in while reading her blog write up of our race She captured everything that makes an ultra great. Please read it here it makes my heart smile so much.

The last hour of the race, after I gave up on my time goal a couple hours prior, Ali pushed me. I recall one hill climb where she instructed me it was time to start passing people between there and the finish line. As I passed I told another woman that she couldn't see the string (there was no string), but that Ali was pulling me up the hill.  I'm pretty sure she thought I was crazy, but in my head that was what was happening. Throughout the day each time I was in front I ended up asking her to get back in front. It just helped so much with motivation.

Ali motivating me down Rader Creek.

We descended Rader Creek at the best pace we'd had all day. Ali doesn't really get warmed up until after mile 20 so she was at her best and working hard to motivate me to the finish at a respectable speed. Once we hit the lake trail I crashed again mentally. I've run it as an out and back many times so I knew our mileage to the finish was going to put our watches closer to 32 miles, eliminating the 7 hour 15 minute finish I'd been hopeful of descending Rader. It made me want to give up on even trying to beat my fastest 50k (Rattlesnake Ridge 50k - 2015 - 7 hours 26 minutes 48 seconds) at all. This is when Ali started treating me like her dog, Rhys. There were rolling hills along the lake and she'd go up one, pause, and call out, "C'mon Jenny c'mon." She was thinking there was a strong risk I might get mad about that, but I say do what works I love creativity and I love my friends.

Almost to the Finish. Photo Credit: Glenn Tachiyama.

Finally, the lake trail intersected the Cabin trail which meant only a few downhill switchbacks and the finish line. We only had minutes left to trim anything off my old best 50k. I faintly remember pausing and shouting something about how we had 4 minutes, but I was ready to drop the hammer and do this thing lets go. So we did and full on sprinted at the end. We were holding hands at my insistence on the basis that I could not have gotten there then without her until we saw another racer in our way. Neither of us think the within 100 meters of the finish line pass is a classy move, but this was a special case. We let go of each other and jumped off to the side to pass and book it in.

Sprinting to the finish together. Photo by Bethany.

I may or may not have cried on Ali after we were done and had trimmed 3 minutes and 3 seconds off my Rattlesnake Ridge time for a 7 hour 23 minute 45 seconds finish for me (and 44 seconds for Ali - there was no way I was going to let her not be listed ahead of me on Ultrasignup). I still feel slow as mud and 3 minutes doesn't mean much across 31 miles, but the day with Ali meant the world to me. Friends don't let friends run 50ks alone :)

Bethany finished in 5 Hrs 50 min 50 Sec. She spent much of the race

in the pain cave to do it, but I couldn't be more proud of her :)

Finish line recovery Charlie style.

Lake + Beer = Recovery. Photo Credit: John.

One more sharpie tattoo for the road.

Post race rest and relaxation.

Post race fun in the sun for my shorty.

The Chuckanut 50k

It's 6:30 am 12/1/17. I have a gnarly headache, but I'm still

doing my strength session. I will be hospitalized

the next morning. Little did I know in this silly selfie, it
was much more than a headache.

My initial reaction to the Chuckanut 50k was to beat myself up for missing my finish target by 40 minutes. I had forgotten that only four months ago my energy and health were so low that going for a one mile walk was a big deal for me. Below are my musings about a race and more importantly the journey just to show up for it.

On December 1st, 2017 I woke up around 4 am with a splitting headache. I frequently get tension headaches so I popped two ibuprofens and went back to bed until my alarm. My headache had dulled from the ibuprofen so I stuck with my intention of rising early enough to do my strength workout before work. During lateral hops I noticed that the back of my neck into my upper spine felt as if a tight Spider-Man-esque web was pulled across under my skin and was cinching up with each hop. I hadn't felt like that ever before, but I didn't think much of it. I was in a hurry to get my son to school and myself to the office before Chuckanut 50k registration opened at 8 am. After a few rounds of crashing Ultrasignup with 100s of my running brethren I was happy to be registered and ready to go about my work day.

By early afternoon my headache was back full force and I'd noticed the webbed tension in my neck and upper spine would pulse if I so much as walked. My eyes had started to become sensitive to the point where I turned the lights off in my office. Shortly after I told my boss I was going home sick, over a headache. It felt very foreign - I get bad tension headaches often and I don't leave work for that kind of thing. I went home to sleep and my boyfriend picked up my son for me.

By evening I had a fever and just felt more and more off. That led to consulting Dr. Google with my symptoms and then freaking out at bacterial meningitis with warnings of its ability to kill within 24 hours of onset. I texted a friend who is a nurse to ask advice about what I felt was my paranoia. By this time walk in clinics were closed and she advised monitoring myself for changes throughout the night as the ER on a Friday night would likely be a very long wait. I didn't sleep well, waking every hour or so. Saturday morning we arrived at a walk in clinic as they opened and after listing my symptoms were sent to the ER.

My son entertaining Cam, Bethany, and John with a game of

hangman on the nurse's whiteboard. They are all in masks

because we didn't yet know if I had bacterial or viral

meningitis. The former is highly contagious and scary

the latter is not contagious, it just wipes you out massively.

Once arrived I was quickly put in an isolation room. I was really cold at this point and kept getting new heated blankets from the nurse. After a few hours and a plethora of tests that eliminated all the other obvious suspects the ER doctor suggested a spinal tap for meningitis. He did not expect it to come back positive based on my overall demeanor, but it did and so began my four day hospitalization. Until the culture came back to show I had the less scary, and not contagious, viral meningitis I was very scared. I was scared of dying or losing limbs. I was scared of my son having contracted it also. Viral meningitis is a really awesome diagnosis compared to bacterial meningitis. It will wipe you out, drop your endurance to zero, render you unable to orchestrate even the basics of your life, and leave you sleeping all day dependent on your nurses and a cocktail of drugs in your IV, but it is oh so much better than bacterial meningitis.

Ali and Bethany visiting just after I'd found out I had the

far less scary and not contagious form of meningitis.

This is the most awake I felt my entire hospitalization.

My turnaround meal in the hospital. Homemade and kindly

delivered by Nichole

While my boyfriend took over my single parent duties and my friends came in and out between my numerous naps running was the last thing on my mind. Having the basic abilities to raise my son or go to work and do my job gone was very humbling. I burned through 60 hours of sick time at work and so many favors from friends. After getting released from the hospital walking outside became this big deal to me. To fit in a one mile walk around my sleeping, low energy, and light sensitivity made my day. I didn't run for most of December and when I ran again I felt like my fitness level had reverted to zero. My average HR showed my endurance was gone. I reminded myself that I'd dropped my Chuckanut 50k registration in 2017 from my tibial stress fracture and this was legit cause to drop it again in 2018.

By late January I was running enough again to feel like I might still be up for a 50k soon. Then in late January I fell on a group night run and woke up one week later with my lower back completely thrown out. A new chiropractor and an x-ray revealed a pinched nerve between my L4 and L5 and degenerative disc disease advanced beyond what one expects in a 34-year-old spine. The pinched nerve was creating referred pain in my left quad causing the muscles to lock up and running to not work very well. Again, I went the majority of a month with not a lot of running.

To say I wasn't particularly trained for the Chuckanut 50k is perhaps an understatement. I ran it out of stubbornness. I was mad that I'd had to drop it in 2017 when my tibial stress fracture was diagnosed five weeks out and I  just didn't want to drop it again. I ran it and I finished it in 7 hrs 37 min 9 sec which happens to be exactly 20 seconds slower than the Cougar Mountain 50k I ran in October. Cougar is a harder race from a total ascent standpoint (7,200 versus 5,000 feet of vertical), but I am nothing if not consistent.

I had hoped to crack 7 hours, something I have yet to manage in any of my eight 50k finishes. The only time I cracked 7 hours was in the first split of my one and only 100k finish (Sun Mountain 2016) that was two 50k loops, but it doesn't technically count. I am honestly not sure if I will ever crack 7 hours or if it actually matters.

Cupping before and later during the race

prevented the muscle issue in my quad

caused by my pinched nerve from

stopping me.

Using an inversion table daily, including

before the race, helped me run through

my pinched nerve issue.

I signup for races for the social aspect of seeing running friends and the ease aid stations add to a desire to go for a really long run. I dilly dally, I chit chat, I hang out too long at aid stations if I know the volunteers, I take shots of Jameson (well just one) at Irish bars setup along the course, and I even hide in the bushes to change from capris to shorts and cup my quad 19 miles in to get through the rest of the race. I do all this and then get mad at my inability to crack 7 hours. My boyfriend pointed out that my prerogative appears to be having fun, not racing for time so perhaps if I'm going to get out there and prioritize the former I should let go of the latter as they are in direct conflict. Sometimes the man is right. Often even, but don't tell him that he might get a swelled head :)

Watching sub 7 slip away

once again and taking it

personally a few miles from the

finish line.

This is Heather. She is wise. I caught up to her here at the

Irish bar aid station between the Cleator climb and the Ridge

around mile 15. I didn't see her again till the finish :)

Heather is also genius in her framing of reality. She raced as well and I was being hard on my time when I saw her after. She thought it was awesome that I even got out there and finished it considering all my recent health events in the way of training. She too is right. It just took me awhile to catch up mentally to all the right people in my life.

Ready to roll with Bethany and Cam at

the starting line. My speedsters :)

As for the race itself I was excited to see Bethany, who I run more miles with than I run without her, get out there and smash her first 50k in 5 hrs 59 min 54 sec. She had never run further than 21 miles in her life nor raced further than a half marathon and the notion of 31 whole miles felt inconceivable to her at times leading up to the race, but she did it and rocked it. I knew she could and would and the best part is now she knows too and the ultra bug has bitten her :)

The best part of the course was the chinscraper climb and the worst was the flat final 6 on the interurban. I've only run once since the race because I angered my right ankle and am working through some swelling and lack of mobility with rest, ice, etc. Each and every day there are so many many things that can cease the ability to run. Each day the run overcomes these things is a sweet spot in this life.

The Chinscraper climb around mile 21.

Photo Credit: Glenn Tachiyama.

Yvonne, one of the most impressive 100

mile favoring ultra runners I know captaining

her Irish aid station serving up a little

luck of the Irish on St. Patrick's Day aka race day.

Lost Lake is so rarely sunny, but weather

luck was shining down on us.

Delicious treats including sushi (ate a ton) and

Jell-O shots (skipped those) just before the

chinscraper climb.